"Pirates of the Cassiopeian"
Written By: Asymphototropic
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing.
Author: Asymphototropic (attracted toward the
light, but never quite arrives there)
Summary: The officers of starship 'Coruscate Cepheus'
kidnap an astral pilot from a pirates' crew. The new navigator proves
to be quite a handful. Can he be tamed?
Warnings: language, violence, yaoi, bondage
Pairings: 2 x Everyone in the galaxy, maybe?
" Pirates of the Cassiopeian"
"Good afternoon, gentlemen. We intensely regret to inform you that we have insufficient cups and saucers to invite you all to tea, of which we are currently partaking. Other than that, in what manner might we be of service?"
Sawbone's voice was broadcast widely to the surrounding pirate ships' coms. There returned a silent, possibly stunned, pause.
At long last came an icy reply. "Greetings. Have we the honor of addressing the Captain of starship Coruscate Cepheus?"
"Captain Khushrenada greatly regrets that he is unfortunately detained from the immediate pleasure of conversation, involved as he is upon certain vital matters of ship's business. This is second officer Didjer Maxwell, at your service, sir."
The collected senior officers of Coruscate Cepheus chuckled quietly at the imagined impact of this introduction. The junior officers tried not to squirm like excited puppies.
They were next treated to a visual transmission. A cruel faced man wearing a harsh yellow-gray beard confronted them on their screen.
"Rogarth, as I blow and breathe," Sawbones declared calmly.
"Maxwell, you're looking lively. Especially considering your status as a corpse these last sixty-five years."
"Demise does appear to agree with my constitution," the physician replied with a brief chortle.
"Tha's Rake Redbeard Rogarth his own self, that is," Duo informed the others in a strangled undertone. His friends' eyes grew almost as large as the absent tea saucers, in response. "Score one for us. The old rascal recognizes Sawbones right out. No further credentials required, if yer take my meaning. Now just remains to measure whose swash buckles bigger, ya know?"
"Duo! Hush," Merquise whispered fiercely.
"Your prolonged absence from matters concerning the collective is noteworthy," Rogarth commented. "Silence seems uncharacteristic for you."
"Alas. We have only just returned from Andromeda, and so find ourselves sadly out of touch with current affairs. Sixty-five years, did you say? Dear me, how time flies."
At this, the other laughed loudly, a vicious barking noise, like saw edged steel grinding through bone. "Mount me, Maxwell, if you weren't always the gawds-damnedest liar ever born."
"Tales to spin, my dear sir. Tales to spin. What else makes life to treasure but our grand imaginations?"
"There's the small matter of a complaint lodged against you by the Dawg Black Hole."
"Never heard of them," Sawbones retorted audaciously.
"Liar!" A new voice broke in, with an accompanying burly face, engorged red with rage.
"Cap Bezter of the Dawgs," Duo confirmed in a stage whisper.
"They attacked our ship unprovoked, and stole our navigator, right out of stasis. We demand the immediate return of pilot Duo Maxwell, and cash remuneration for sustained damages. Plus summary execution of the ringleaders."
Duo softly moaned in spite of his best efforts to the contrary. He gulped back bile, burning in his throat. Heero placed a comforting hand upon the boy's shoulder.
"Bah. You again?" Sawbones waved his hand as if swatting a gnat. "Rogarth, hear me. This personage led an abortive attack against the Cepheus. We have the entire exchange recorded, I might add. We merely defended ourselves, as I can easily prove to you. Although we were considerably more competent in our assault, admittedly. Those buffoons bungled it all. But that is trivial."
"Trivial?" the Dawg's captain screeched. "How dare you!"
"Compared to my counter complaint, yes, quite trivial. I may as well lodge it with you now. Though I had hoped to finish my tea in a civilized manner. Ah well. Those idiots had the outrageous nerve to shanghai my grandson. I do assure you, Rogarth, shocking as it may seem, that no papers of indenture were ever signed acknowledging the lad's considerable services. He trained at the Air Force Academy, First City, Traeskavelon, and was the best of a bountiful bunch of cadets. A grandly gifted navigator. I'm quite proud of the boy, in fact. And the Dawgs stole him before he had the chance to graduate, snapped him up with no compunctions whatsoever. Audacious, I say. Downright offensive."
"Your grandson?" There was evidence of extreme curiosity expressed upon Rake Redbeard's malicious face. "That is reprehensible, certainly. If this involves a blood tie, it is a very serious complaint."
"Duo Maxwell is an orphan," Bezter snarled.
"So he is," Sawbones agreed. "But the last I heard, having one's parents die does not prevent a boy from having a grandfather." He sneered as if Bezter was the biggest idiot in the galaxy.
"We'll have to call a tribunal," Rogarth decreed brusquely, cutting off the exchange. "We'll settle the issues by vote of the brethren. Details of the conference to follow. Rogarth out."
"You wont win this," Bezter snarled before abruptly signing off.
"What does he know that we don't?" Merquise asked instantly.
"Erm. That I can't lie?" Duo swallowed hard over his admission.
"What do you mean, 'can't', boy?" Sawbones demanded harshly.
"Just exactly that. For whatever reason, whenever I try to lie, my body wont let me. My brain just turns to mush. I go all queasy n' dizzy. And after that, if I keep on trying to prevaricate, I just plain pass out of the picture. Downright painful, trust me," Duo shrugged. "Guess its another one of those inconvenient purple-eyed devil mutations."
"Now is one hellatious time to inform us," the physician growled. "Damned hellspawn demons."
'You'll just have to adopt Duo," Khushrenada laughed. "The entire rest of the story is pure truth. I'll draw up the legal documents at once."
"Adopt the little brat?" Sawbones recoiled at the mere suggestion.
"Dear ol' Gran-pappy," Duo cooed, flinging
himself upon the self-professed pirate, wrapping arms and legs about
the old man's torso, nearly toppling him with the gesture, and kissing
him wetly upon one grizzled cheek.