"Being A Raberba"

Written By: sami (sparkley-tangerine)

Disclaimer: I tried to buy the rights to the idea but Heero had a gun and, well....that's all I can remember.

Author: sami (sparkley-tangerine)

Author's e mail: cindersam_6969@yahoo.ca

Rating: R (Parts 1, 2 and 3) NC-17 (Part 4)

Warnings: yaoi/Shonen ai, POV fic, a smidge of angst, lime, eventual lemon

Summary: Quatre's PoV. Just a reason why Quatre introduces himself as Quatre Raberba Winner and how this affects his relationships with the guys and his romance with Trowa. Starts out with none of the pilots knowing each other but progresses up to after Duo finds Trowa at the circus. Some events have been tweaked to fit the fic.

Pairings: Part1 : 5+4(lime)

"Being A Raberba"

Part 1: Wufei's Need

We are in one of our very few secure locations, together as ordered by our instructors. The mission? Become a team. Get to know one another, form bonds and everything else that becoming a smoothly operating unit entitles.

This mission is frustratingly vague. Thank Allah the tea is good.

It is ironic, each of us having been trained to trust no one are now, quite suddenly, told to ignore our screaming survival instincts and give fragile threads of trust to the only people with the power and skill to kill us. Each other.

Never one to disobey an order, the perfectly imperfect Heero Yuy takes the stage. The pilot of Wing. He is virtually skilled at everything he does. I would laugh at him, but that would be impolite and I must be polite. I'm a Winner. Heero Yuy does not understand his emotions. A pity that is too, because with his messy sienna hair and intense ultramarine eyes, he's handsome. Emotions would make him beautiful.

Trickier than smoke and mirrors, Duo Maxwell, the pilot of the Gundam Deathscythe is rambunctious and vivid as he starts chattering. A walking contradiction is the violet-eyed boy whose smile reminds me of crying children. He gives off a funny disposition of wild restraint and carefree caution as he talks of his own abilities.

The pilot of Heavyarms, Trowa Barton, exists like a lost soul with its body. Or a body without the burden of a soul. He'll fool them into thinking that as well. The others, I mean. But I see right through him. I have to. I'm a Raberba. I wonder if he ever finds it hard to breath, wrapped up in all of that silence.

Passionate and furious is Chang Wufei, even when he's calm. I'm literally soaking up the venomous wrath he hurls out from his person at everyone and everything. Already I can tell he feels a wicked guilt at the price others pay for his self-important honor and his thirst for justice.

I introduce myself as Quatre Raberba Winner. It is who I am. I see reluctant curiosity at Quatre and startle astonishment at Winner. They all forget Raberba so easily.

I glance at our portable vid-com. They will leave nothing to chance, the scientists. I know in about two minutes they will check in, just to make sure we've followed our orders and we have, just not to the extent they want. I return to my comrades.

I know they are confused. My family are known pacifists, especially my father, and yet the heir to the Winner fortune is one of the five elite Gundam pilots. How could Quatre Winner fight in a war? Be he isn't. Quatre Raberba Winner is. They always forget I'm a Raberba, first and foremost. Not that the name means anything to them yet.

Duo Maxwell is gaping at me. I find it amusing but not with the superior disdain that most people in my old, high society lifestyle possess. I like his playful nature already and I know he will be relieved to know that Quatre Winner had a sunny state of mind and no hint of military compliance, deafening silence or searing rage.

The vid beeps and flashes, startling no one, at least not openly. Heero swiftly answers, probably hoping for a sudden mission and an end to this psychotic therapy session. I relish this assignment; it gives me a chance to determine who is my king, my queen, my pawn and my knight.

There they are, all five of our insane creators. Their blend of homely physical appearances, biological and mechanical, as well as their spotty white lab coats are at fault. Even though they truly are insane.

Heero takes the guise of team leader and I let him. This is the best way to assess his commander potential is to see it in action.

“We have a problem.” He tells them in a decisive, tense voice. Hmm, a problem. I've only ever been called that twice in my young life. I meet Instructor H's gaze over Wufei's head. I smile sweetly at him and he smirks in return.

A man looking like the person Duo had described as Professor G scowled at Heero.

“Well spit it out boy! This link is only up for five minutes.”

H speaks up before Heero can comply. The poor boy blinks and flinches before setting back into soldier mode.

“I believe 01 has a problem with my selection of pilot, G.”

Wufei stands up, in an obvious rage. So foreseeable.

“Did you ever stop to think about the future complications of having Quatre Winner as a pilot? He's a known pacifist! Worse, he's known.”

Duo shrugged but his shoulders looked tense.

“It's not going to be cool when his father finds out you've shanghai-ed his moppet.”

I think it might have unnerved them to see both H and myself raise one eyebrow in question. I kept a smile on my face as H kept his eyebrow raised in patient amusement.

“Quatre Winner? I see no Quatre Winner here, Chang Wufei.”

Very few people have seen Instructor H's sense of humor and even less appreciate it. At this moment in time, I appeared to be the only one.

Wufei and Duo speak together here, something I know must horrify them both; they seem to have a deeply rooted dislike for each other, and point in my direction.

“He claims to be Quatre Winner!/ Dude, the blond one!”

Perhaps H had better think his hoax through, Heero Yuy is drawing his gun. H looks me over.

“Is that how you introduced yourself, young one?”

Master O, with it seems, a temper to rival his student's, gives my mentor an irritated glare.

“Enough with your games H! Who is the boy? Are 01's qualms valid?”

I know at any other time, H would have taken offense to anyone's doubts of his abilities, but this opportunity is just too tempting for him to pass up.

“Never doubt my loyalty to the cause, gentlemen.” We all hear the steel in his voice even though H will not make a scene. “My charge's identity is Quatre Raberba Winner.”

For the first time, S enters our conversation.

“Raberba, you say?” And understanding fills their minds.

I know sitting on the dusty couch the was left in our safe house, sipping my tea, I look like a gentle pretty boy, especially with my pale blond hair and aquamarine eyes. I look innocent.

Looks can be deceiving.

Of course, my position from the couch gives me the perfect view of each boy in the room and I hide a somewhat cheeky grin in the rim of my cup as Trowa Barton, of all the boys, stiffens in recognization of my mother's legacy.

“You'll also remember, of course,” H continues, sounding smug at the pensive looks on Dr. J and Professor G's faces. “that while the name Quatre Winner is well know, no one has actually seen the Winner heir. I do believe the Raberba is a nice touch in hiding his true identity to those who matter.”

Heero Yuy was frowning, and Wufei had what appeared to be his permanent expression, a scowl, on his sharp featured face. Duo gave me a grin and a thumbs up, even if he had no idea what they were talking about. They'd find out soon enough.

“What does Raberba mean?” Heero directed his question at me and I gave him an obsequious smile. “It sounds familiar.” He gruffly admits.

I look over at Trowa, who, for reasons still unknown, had taken a rather uncomfortable looking stool as his seat. I see speculation, struggle and a tiny bit of grudging respect in his vivid green eyes before they are once more calm. Just as I had hoped, he divulges what he knows.

“When I was in the company of a group of mercenaries,” Trowa's voice is a quiet timbre that still manages to sound in our spacious room. “There were few things that could intimidate them. A whisper of the name Raberba would send each and every one of them into the next continent.”

Hm, Trowa had been a mercenary. That explains his expressionless existence. They still train their soldiers to act without emotion, even if a personality makes them blend into a crowd. It is just a matter of learning which personality is appropriate.

Master O murmured something in some form of Chinese to Wufei who swore and gave me a suspicious look. Duo let out an annoyed hiss and stood from his seat on the floor.

“What's all the fuss about? So the guy has another name? I'm sure he can afford it.”

Wufei had yet to take his inky eyes off of my form, as if I'd suddenly draw my gun and start shooting. O translated his prophecy.

“Beware the warriors of the Raberba clan for they are both beautiful and deadly. I had thought the line had died out.”

I gave the man a Winner smile.

“My mother was the last, before she met my father. I carry on her legacy as well; my father will not seek me out.”

Instructor H chuckled darkly. “Why else would the heir of the Winner family ever agree to become a vessel for war? It is in his blood.”

The conversation was closed after that, as Heero's hopes were dashed. We had a week here, a week to get things together or split up and go our separate ways.

Hmm, apparently it's late, everyone is going to bed. Wufei looked at me obviously still in doubt of my abilities. He gives Duo the same look, most of the time.

“I don't care who your mother was. War is no place for rich boys to get their kicks.”

I take no offense to his harsh words, I know I'm more than a spoiled rich boy looking to prove himself worthy of my family fortune.

As I head to my own room, at the end of the hall, I grin. It seems these boys need to learn exactly what being a Raberba truly means.


It's been a full day since our formal introductions. Heero Yuy wishes to talk about our previous missions, our previous battles. It's not a sudden whim. He wishes to analysis them. Wufei is a scholar; he simply enjoys retaining information and Duo wishes to brag. Duo. I've spent a fair bit of my time talking with him already. He is such a melancholy animation, I do not think even he knows the depths of his self-imposed sorrow. He calls himself Shinigami, the God of Death. I was correct in my first assumption, that he is a walking contradiction. A man who treasures life but worships death.

Or perhaps he is just smarter than us all.

I am also beginning to think Duo's wisecrack about Trowa and his possession of a word limitation is correct. The most anyone has ever heard him talk was our first night here, about my identity. His problem amuses me. He's afraid of me. Not so much in a way that he trembles in fear but more in the knowledge that he has no idea what I can and will do.

Trowa Barton is very intelligent.

“Who took out the base in Argentina?”

Duo is giving 01 a lazy grin and chattering off something witty. Impressive really. H sent me the before and after pictures of the Argentina base; it was nothing but a crater when Duo had finished with it.

“Who took out General Samuels?” came Wufei's angry growl. His question is directed toward Trowa and Heero, as if neither Duo nor myself are capable or competent enough to have been giving that mission.

Trowa gave a shake of his head, auburn bangs barely moving. “Heavyarms had taken on severe damage.”

Heero also agave a negative reply. “Australian mission.”

Duo raised an eyebrow and looked at me. “I was in Canada, chilling with the snow. I guess Q-ball did it.”

Q-ball? Duo's unstoppable need to nickname everyone he meets is one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. He reminds me a lot of the person I was before I truly understood what being a Raberba meant. The bit of me I let everyone else see instead of the soldier front Heero, Trowa and Wufei use. Reverse methods with the same conclusion.

“Impossible.” Wufei scoffs and it irritates me. He thinks me unworthy of his respect. I feel my pale brows furrow as I look at his scowling face. If he doubts my abilities, missions can and will be compromised.

He's my first target.

“Duo is correct. I took out the General.”

“How?” Wufei's question is cutting.

Slowly, I lean back and cross my legs at my ankles. My arms rest atop of the armrests as I gaze at the Chinese pilot through half-lidded eyes.

“I infiltrated his army, then his rooms and shot him.”

Even Duo looks dubious at my short explanation.

“Dude, Samuels lived in a house that's more secure than an airtight gundaminum safe and his army has a cut throat acceptance exam.”

I tilt my head to the left, just a bit as I ponder his remarks. He is correct but not completely.

“Samuels is paranoid but his army is easy enough to get into, if you look the part.” A questioning silence allows me to continue. “He's a supporter of Aryan societies. Blond haired, blue eyed Caucasians make up his army and I do fit the description.”

Things continue from there, with Wufei's scorn of Duo and myself, Heero's monotone re accounts of his missions, Duo's pride and Trowa's barely there answers.

Supper time lumes nearer before Duo yanks open the refrigerator door and gives a dramatic gasp. Apparently we're out of food and he's going shopping.

“No one can leave without backup.” Heero's eyes are intense again and we all know Duo won't disobey 01's command. Wufei refuses to go, complaining that shopping is a woman's job and not something a man should do. I wonder how he intends to eat in a house full of males but I decline as well; town is a good two hours away and we know Heero will accompany Duo just out of a sense of duty and Trowa to make sure actual food will be bought. Duo Maxwell has a horrid love of junk food.

No, this opportunity is too good for me to pass up, the chance to prove to Wufei just how strong I really am.

I claim the need to run a systems check-up on Sandrock while Wufei ventures outside to meditate. I follow, keeping an eye on the others as they pile into an inconspicuous looking blue Malibu and drive off down the gravel hill out hide away sits on.

I walk around our house to where we've hidden our Gundams, an extensive cave hidden behind one of the world's rare, naturally created waterfalls. I take another cautious look behind me to see Wufei sitting with his legs crossed Indian-style, arms turned over with palms resting upward on his bent knees. He looks deceptively relaxed but I can tell his eyes are only half closed and he's watching me through his eyelashes. If I play this right, he'll come to me.

Sandrock was in perfect shape, Rashid and his men working their magic on the Gundam before I had taken off to places unknown to meet four other teenage terrorists. I faced a lot of resistance to that decision but I am nothing but determined when I make up my mind. I'm a Winner. I have to be. How do you think my family came to be known as pacifists in such a war-hungry world without iron-will and unbreakable stubbornness?

With a cat-like leap I jump up to grab the edge of Sandrock's shin plate, my hands securely curling into the grooves where mechanical knees meeting metal shin. With ease I pull my body up and over onto my Gundam's lap. I might as well run an actual systems check on him, just to be safe.

As I scale up towards my cockpit, in the middle of the Gundam's chest, I feel more than see Wufei's inquisitive shadow at the falls' entrance. Predictable, curious, little dragon.

He doesn't make a sound and I make plenty, banging on knobs, buttons and keyboards as I set up, acting as if I have no clue my comrade is waiting for me in the shadows. Master O's words from the previous night flash through my mind and I grin slyly. Wufei must really learn how to listen to his elders more closely.

Silently, I lean out of my cockpit, spying a safe landing place below. Without much hesitation on my part, I leap, coming to a sudden stop back on Sandrock's lap. I frown as my sneakers make a dull, soft thud against the gundaminum. I should have been more careful, taken off my shoes or even had the foresight to wear a pair of my soft slippers for a mission as important as this.

My frown doesn't disappear as I nimbly hop down to the ground where Wufei was waiting for me. He actually startle me a bit.

Peach colored hands grabbed my shoulders in a tight, bruising grip as I tensed in preparation to throw the Chinese pilot off, before letting Wufei slam my back into my own Gundam. I tried to console my disgruntled pride as pilot 05's snarling face fills my vision. I almost cross my eyes in an effort to keep eye contact with his but I dismiss the action immediately. I do have a rather healthy bit of self-preservation.

Time to turn on the charm.

I didn't struggle, it would have been what 05 expected, but held myself relaxed in his grasp. I saw delicious indecision brighten his eyes before the scowl was back full force. Interesting.

“I want the truth.”

Well, that was rather open-ended, now wasn't it?

I raised my turquoise eyes to meet his in an almost solemn expression.

“The truth, is out there.”

Slowly, my pale hands rose to lay themselves gently on 05's tense elbows. Whatever surprise the Chinese pilot had felt at my words vanished as those strong hands snapped from their grip on my shoulders to clutch at my wrists, slamming them back against Sandrock. I spoke again, my voice a tone lower than before. I had to take this seduction slowly or 05 would be suspicious.

“Perhaps, you should be more..... specific, on exactly what it is, you want.”

You'd have to be dumb, deaf and castrated to miss the innuendo in that sentence and I felt 05 pause in his anger before physically giving himself a shake.

“How did you assassinate the General? The whole story.”

I gave a loud sigh as I gently shook my head, pale golden and white blond hair shaking slightly with my movements. I felt 05's dark inky eyes watch a particularly stubborn lock brush invitingly against my forehead before he pulled himself back to his self-imposed mission.

I gave 05 a slow blink, golden eyelashes closing slowly and opening to look, half-lidded into those fiery eyes.

05 looked startled as I lent closer.

“It's not a very well known fact, the knowledge I had on the General.”

Lower yet my voice travels as I reach that perfect pitch, the one kept for lovers and bedrooms and I felt the quiver in 05's muscles.

“Stop dancing around the question!” My, is his voice trembling?

05 was an easy target it seems; I can already feel the intense heat from his body as it washes onto mine. I know from experience and word of mouth that a wickedly enticing gleam takes place in my unique eyes as I smoothly place my lips centimeters away from the trembling pilot's.

“Perhaps..” I let a hot, moist breathe slide across those kissable lips and see 05's own breathe quicken. He's grasping my wrists tightly now, but not to restrain me. Vaguely, I notice that he does not move away.

“Perhaps...you'd rather....' My nose brushes against his as I lean in just a bit closer. I want him to start this, not me. It will make my victory all the more sweeter. “I give you a demonstration?”

I can hear the rush of the waterfall and the echo of drips falling from a stalagmite as 05 breaches the distance between our lips. His kiss is hot and hungry as he forces his wet tounge into my mouth. I allow him to gain a physical control, knowing I have the rest of him caught. I can tell he prides himself on his control over his body, mind and soul and now I've taken two of them from him.

I'm not surprised that 05 is skilled at kissing as I let a small moan drift up into my mouth and out, into his. I've been taught that its those little noise, those sounds of appreciation that stoke the fires of desire better than anything else ever could.

Again, it is proven right as Chang's hands slide from my most likely bruised wrists to clutch at my head. I let my newly released hands drift to his well-muscled chest, brushing up against heated silk, trying to urge my wayward pilot closer.

Both of us are panting as we break apart, just barely to take a breathe and I tilt my head a bit to the right as Chang's control eludes him once more and he bends down for more. This time a deep vibrating groan sounds from deep within the Chinese pilot's chest.

Taking the subconscious hint, I hook my pale fingers into the cloth of his shirt and pull him forward, slowly. I do not wish to frighten him off too soon. Not much help is needed as Chang's body, desperately seeking that sweet friction to ease his painful pleasure, closes the gap between our bodies.

Something hot and hard poked into my stomach and I let a flash of irritation at my height enter my mind before rolling with it. Hormones took over after that moment as we wriggled and thrust against each other, the temperature in the cool, damp cave rising. The air surrounding us was heated with lust and desire as pure animal instinct took over. A fine sheen of sweat glistened on both of our bodies as I gasped loudly and began to work a hand down into Chang's drawstring training pants. The boy didn't even hesitate as he let out a hiss of pleasure when I wrapped my slightly cool hands around his searing erection.

“Quatre...” He groaned my name as I slowly slid my hand up and down his length while dragging my tongue down under his jaw. He tasted like salty sweat and musky sex and that individual flavor that ever person seems to have. It was surprisingly pleasant.

Imagine my shock when his own hand flicked the button on my pants and slid his own lovely hand down to return the favor. What? This wasn't how things usually. I always had the job of seducing, of giving pleasure for a distraction. Very few of my targets wanted to return the favor. Stars, most weren't even gentle in taking their own!

It was suddenly too hot for me in my own skin as the delicious heat that had been pooling in the lower part of my belly intensified. I let him kiss me breathless again and concentrated on pumping Wufei's member to hide my confusion. Had it really been so long since I'd had someone who actually cared about my own needs as well?

Everything was so hot, so tight that I almost couldn't stand it as we both tensed and that heat flared happily as we came. Wufei shuddered against me, his arms quivering and straining as he braced himself on my Gundam, his palm over my shoulders. I hadn't even realized I had closed my eyes until my breathing started to even out and my senses came back with a sudden smack.

I gently but decisively pulled my hand out from his now damp pants, still panting slightly. I should have known Wufei's honor would force him to meet my gaze and I quickly pulled my confusion and surprise away from my face, giving him a satisfied smile.

His hand slipped from my pants as well as I lent forward to give him one last parting kiss.

“Like yourself,” I whispered. “Samuels had a thing for blonds.”

Confidant, I slipped from his grasp and fixed my own pants as I walked away from my comrade and the confusion in his eyes. Unfortunately I couldn't do the same for my own.

~ * ~

Chapter 2

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